On Labor and Messes

I am a woman in labor.  

It’s been a long time coming, this something being born, and I want to cling to how it was before, how I was before, and I’m afraid of this new that is on the way.  

It came to me as I heard a song on the CD player, a familiar song of this season, and words came floating through my head.  

Or was it through my heart?  

All around is the festive celebration of a birth, a special birth that is the crux of belief, the cornerstone of faith.  Yes, that person was born then and that life holds hope and promise and sacred meaning to so many of us.  

Always at this time of the year I see so much more.

Thoughts carried me back to actual physical birth pains, and that time when I just knew I was not going to get through that, that I could not do it any more.  And that was when all of it broke loose and we were at that point of becoming new…as a new life was welcomed into our arms. 

All was changed. Nothing looked the same.  

Weeks or months later, I could finally see myself as this new person, this young mom, so head over heals in love with this new life, both the one I could cuddle and rock and feed and bathe, and the new life that was a way of being.

Don’t we go through this same process over and over?  
Not the child bearing, 
But the nurturing of our ever changing lives.  

We plod along as we have been for a time, then we find ourselves holding something new. We’re scared…maybe. Excited…perhaps.  Wondering what hit us…yup.  

Here I was, 
in the middle of painting woodwork, for cryin’ out loud, and all this hit me.  Painting woodwork is a painful task…tedious, unrewarding, very time consuming, requiring lots of careful brushing on of multiple layers of paint.  I feel like I’m stuck in that paint can forever.  I’ll never, ever get this done.

The new, exciting ‘stuff’ of moving has worn off, and now I’m in that part that seems not so pretty.  Coming to terms with being here, not there.  Realizing that the new familiar is not much like the old.  

This is indeed hard work.

Even still, the messes can be tolerated. The house actually is looking more like home. Doesn’t everyone have a step ladder sitting in their dining room like we do?  Canvas drop cloths add a nice touch to wood floors, and maybe they even help soften the sounds in the room.  We could be trend setters.

There will always be messes.  

Each will look different, will come from different causes, but will eternally remind me of the changes throughout all of our lives.  

Learning as I go … 

I see that we all have something being incubated, nurtured, anticipated within us.  Each day, each moment is a leap of faith. 

Messes and paint brush

It Felt Like Coming Home

Wren and wren house

By now the tiny little wren (whose beak you can barely see in the hole) has grown strong enough to fly away.  There may be a new little family inhabiting this wren house in my in-laws back yard. 

Last month while visiting my husband’s parents, I stood in their yard for quite a while just listening to all the birds and watching a summer storm brewing.  Sadly, that was one of the last times I was out with my camera taking photos “just because”.   I’ve missed it.   

Today I did go out for a few minutes and photographed some familiar places and bits of nature that always amaze me.  They may not be images I’ll share, but the point is that I got out the door and took photos.  It’s all about the process, isn’t it?  

It felt like coming home.

I recognize that part of my not taking photos or doing much creating has everything to do with major changes coming to our lives.  A bit of grieving has begun in my heart.   

And that is because we are moving in a few weeks from Ohio to Missouri.

My husband has accepted the call to serve a congregation in Moberly, Missouri.  We are excited about the prospects and the opportunities for him, for us, for the people we will be with.  While we will be further away from some of the family, we will be closer to many more, including that precious grandson.   

Meanwhile, our own “nest” is cleaner than it has been for a while because it is up for sale. I enjoy having my home looking nice, but you have to know that I also like to come home and relax, let the clutter gather and the dust bunnies fight in their own corners.   There is a saying that a home should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy…and that is my motto.  

Soon a new family will live in our nest.  They’ll be able to enjoy the light coming in the windows, the sound of birds outside, the look of the perennials growing in the yard.  Whoever they may be, I have no doubt they will enjoy living in this space.  

In the coming weeks I plan to share with you my thoughts about “coming home” and what makes us feel that way.   

Off to chase more dust bunnies…..





Feminine Influence

We met Her, there in that sacred space, in surprising places.
She smiled at me from the side of an old fence post…
And she inspired us in the art form of sculpture…

with her head bowed as she sees something
being born, coming to life, within her… from her…
 And I saw Her smile on the face of each person there.

Beautiful Packages

I simply love this seed pod. 

Just wanted to share it with you.

I hope your week is going well, that each day brings you
something new, 
something good and challenging,
to help you stretch and grow.

Things like 
plenty of sunshine,
good amounts of water,
healthy food,
and good friends.

All those things together
help germinate whatever is coming from you.  

I have no doubt that what
will bloom
will be amazing,
and perfect,
and beautiful.