Joy for the Friendships


There is a scene in the musical Les Miserables when a young man is mourning the tragic loss of his friends in a battle.  He sings of the Empty Chairs and Empty Tables, those places where once they all sat together as friends, planning their futures, planning how they would fight in the revolution, singing and drinking, not knowing what fate awaited them.  

I’m not one of those revolutionaries.  Far from it.  Yet the grief he speaks of in that scene, the unspeakable loss, is a sorrow that, as I write this, I know others are walking through.

From my childhood home came news in the last couple of days of a terrible auto accident and the untimely death of a mother and daughter I have known for a very long time.  And I’ll be honest with you; though I have not had contact with this family for a few years, the shock and sadness have really knocked me down.  It’s hard to think of anything else.  

There will now be a huge gap in the lives of those left behind.  Something as simple as an empty coat hook, or a task not done, or who knows what….simple little things will trigger the grief and suffering all over again.  And my heart goes out to all.  To all who are feeling the loss of those they loved so dearly.

Seeing how this tragedy was really keeping me from doing much, I knew I needed to act. 

I took time to meet with a friend here locally who is a quilter, and she is teaching me how to do paper piecing.  It was great to have my hands on something, doing a creative task.  I am a firm believer that art saves; doing something creative gets us in touch with a vital part of who we are and rescues us in some way.

Later I called my other dear friend from my hometown.  We talked for a long time about life.  There were tears, and laughter, and comparing notes about being grandmothers now, and just the sound of her voice lifted me like you can not imagine.  

The two of us would have gone bike riding with this friend who died.  Each of us would have held her daughter when she was a baby.   We shared this common bond of growing up in the same place, and those memories today became a soothing balm for our hurting hearts. 

happy days

We all went to the same school, and I’m pretty sure we may have used this same reader in first grade (or one similar) to learn to read.  

It’s the conversation with my friend tonight that remind me of those carefree times of childhood, those bike rides, the hair done in two pony tails, and slumber parties and then boys and high school.  Gone so fast.  But the memories became more of that healing.

How do I end this post?

Not with sadness, but with joy.  

Joy that I knew this woman and her family, her daughter, her husband (who remains in the hospital), and another daughter who lives with her own family now.  

Joy for the friendships that were, 
the friendships that are, 
and the friendships that are to come.

12 Replies to “Joy for the Friendships”

  1. Deb, I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your friend and her daughter. I'm also glad for the friends in your life who comfort you now. My thoughts and prayers are with that family, and with you.

  2. This is a very heartfelt post, and I feel the sadness with you. A neighbor of mine passed away a few months ago, and it it me harder than I expected….her memorial helped me deal with her passing. Happy memories can comfort us when we are dealing with a loss, as do good friends. Your photo touched me too.

  3. Deborah, sending prayers your way and for this family! I am so very sorry for you lose. I'm glad you found some peace in your art. I would love to see what you are working on. I've done a little paper piecing and have enjoyed it.

  4. Such a loss, it is hard to comprehend. i find peace in creativity too, in using my eyes and my hands. The photo is a touching symbol of loss, yes, you are a photographer. My prayers are for peace and comfort for you and this family tonight. Hold your loved ones close.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.