Breaking open

waiting to be born

There it was, hidden behind the tall grass, surrounded by vegetation, hardly seen by anyone unless you were just at the right spot.   A precious egg, warmed by the sun, waiting to hatch. The shape of it so different, making it stand out.  

I felt I was witnessing a small miracle.

Lately I have been drawn to water everywhere.  That stream I wrote about yesterday, the river image from a few weeks ago that made me think of the movie “A River Runs Through It”.  The sound of the water flowing over rocks in that stream last weekend was like music to my ears, and I just wanted to wade in that water and let it soak into me. Then we were at this marsh, listening to birds, watching turtles and frogs all over the place.

Everything I have written lately, in my private journal, has dealt with water in some way.  Drawings I have made, gratitude lists that have been written…  

Do you see the pattern here?  Water, water everywhere.

I think it is the water of a birth of sorts, a new beginning.

Recently, I shared my story of what it was like to share art with others, and a friend said to me that she was glad to have witnessed my ‘birth’.  The telling of that experience had brought me to tears, good tears I must add.

Add to all this that I have been wrestling for a while with how to be present here, on this blog, and what needs to change.  I’m in that position now where I can see where it is all leading me, where I can see that something beautiful is being formed within and will soon break open and manifest itself.  And everywhere I have pointed my camera lens recently…the images that draw me in are telling me to pay attention.  

This evening I spent time in deep conversation with a dear friend, my spiritual director.  During that time of sharing it finally became clear to me that I want to share my story here, but in a different way.  Because when I share my story, when I tell you my truth here, something shifts in me and in you.  It was in conversation, in stating out loud to her what I had in mind, that I really heard what I was saying to my self, and finally understood.

This water, this egg on a nest hidden from view, these nudges that pull and tug at my heart and point me in directions that my head tries to resist…it is as though I have been swirling and floating and waiting to get through something. 

All I need to do is listen to my heart. 


9 Replies to “Breaking open”

  1. So hard sometimes to follow our heart, isn't it! Hard to figure it all out and follow a different path. So glad you're sharing your journey with us! Love the image. You have a very good eye to have spotted the egg!

    1. Cathy,
      As for spotting this, my husband saw it and pointed it out to me. He is so good at seeing unusual details.
      Yes, it is hard to follow a different path, but I'm finding out it is very liberating. And I know I'm not alone, in the journey or the discovery. That seems to be the most important part of what I'm learning.

  2. I am honored to be a witness to your re-birth here in this space and to follow along on this new path to your true self.

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